What is tznius anyway?

Sorry I haven't written for ages. I wasn't getting sufficiently annoyed about anything to prompt writing. I now am!

Is tznius about shying away? Is it about people not noticing who you are? I don't think so anymore.

People stick out when they cover up nowadays, especially in the heat of the summer. I stick out in a tichel (but people tell me sheitels aren't tznius - well certain ones aren't anyway). NOT sticking out when covering my hair could be a maarat ayin issue as people might not be able to tell it's covered.

Being tzanuah, in my opinion, is causing the internal to be focussed on, not the external. So if I wear a custom made, long, shiny, straight gorgeous sheitel, that causes the builders to stop and stare at me on the street, I'm not being tznius because I'm causing them to focus on my externals.

A charedi mentor of mine told me recently that she doesn't envy certain women's places in shamayim. She mentioned some names - women who make wigs. She said they are doing a disservice to klal yisrael. Strong? Maybe not!

Suddenly it's fashionable and cool to wear a pony wig. Apparently these came into fashion before and were assured by the gedolim. Not this time? Because the gedolim no longer have the power to enforce such bans anymore.

I'm bringing this up now because although I understand that women often have a problem with covering their hair, I have always had a problem when they looked more attractive married then single. Such girls often have no knowledge of the line between attractive and attracting - they cross it frequently and to be honest it isn't fair. Not just to the men that end up staring, but also to little old me that feels increasingly not so righteous but just left out.

My sheitels look like sheitels. I am in the minority!